Romance scams: Signs, examples, and how to avoid them

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam is a form of online scam and fraud where a criminal creates a fake identity to start an online relationship with someone. The scammer works quickly to build a false sense of intimacy, often professing love within just a few days or weeks.

Once they establish an emotional bond, they manipulate the person into sending money. They usually claim they need funds for an emergency, travel expenses, or a lucrative investment opportunity.

Dating and romance scams go by several names, including online dating scams, impersonation scams, catfish scams, or sweetheart scams. Regardless of the name, these schemes are illegal.

Online romance scams qualify as serious fraud, and perpetrators can face severe charges for wire fraud, money laundering, and identity theft. While deception in a relationship is not always a crime, soliciting money through lies is a punishable offense.

How do romance scams work? 

Romance scams usually follow a specific pattern. The scammer creates an attractive profile on a dating site or social media platform. They reach out to you and quickly try to establish a strong emotional connection. They may text you several times a day to make you feel special.

Once you trust them, they introduce a problem or an opportunity. They might claim they need money for a plane ticket to visit you, an emergency surgery for a relative, or a customs fee for a package. They create a sense of urgency so you act without thinking.

When you agree to help, they will insist on a specific way to pay. Scammers choose methods that allow them to take your money quickly and vanish without a trace. They typically ask for:

• Cryptocurrency. They may tell you to invest in a specific crypto platform they control.
• Gift cards. They might ask for Amazon, Google Play, or Apple gift cards and demand photos of the PINs.
• Wire transfers. They may request to wire money via Western Union or MoneyGram.
• Payment apps. They may ask for transfers via Cash App or Venmo.

Where do romance scammers operate? 

Romance scammers are active on almost every digital platform where people interact. They flood online dating sites like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

They also search for targets on social media networks like Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn. Instagram scams are also very common. 

Often, scammers try to move the chat off these platforms to encrypted messaging apps like WhatsApp, Google Hangouts, or Telegram to avoid detection by the dating site’s security tools.

The dangers of romance scams

The primary danger of a romance scam is financial devastation. Victims lose their life savings or retirement funds or go into debt to help someone they believe they love — and who they believe loves them back.

However, the damage goes beyond financial harm. Romance scam victims often suffer from severe emotional trauma, embarrassment, and trust issues after the betrayal.

The danger also extends to your personally identifiable information. Scammers may use the information you share with them to commit identity theft. This type of fraud often starts with seemingly small requests, such as asking you to download a specific app to allegedly receive money or verify your identity. These malicious apps can harvest your data, which can lead to Cash App scams or even complex loan fraud, where criminals take out credit cards in your name without your knowledge.

Finally, there are legal risks. Scammers often trick victims into moving stolen funds, effectively turning them into money mules for a criminal group. Acting as a mule is dangerous because moving illegal money is a crime. You can face prosecution and jail time even if you didn't realize you were helping a criminal.

Signs of romance scams

Scammers often follow a well-worn playbook. If you know the romance scam red flags, you can spot a fake profile before you get hurt.

• They love bomb you. The person professes deep love or calls you their soulmate within a few days or weeks of connecting online. They overwhelm you with compliments and affection to cloud your judgment.
• They avoid meeting or video chatting. They always have an excuse for why they can’t turn on their camera or meet in person. Common excuses include a broken phone, a poor internet connection, or being in a high-security zone.
• If they DO agree to a video call, the footage looks off. Advanced scammers use deepfakes — AI technology that digitally swaps their face with someone else's. If their face looks blurry, their lip movements don't match the audio, or the video loops unnaturally, you’re talking to a scammer.
• They try to move off-platform. They immediately try to move the conversation from the dating app to WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook Messenger. They say it’s “easier” or “more private,” but they actually want to escape the dating app's fraud detection tools.
• Their stories are inconsistent. Their profile details don’t match what they tell you. They might claim to be a college graduate but have poor grammar, or they say they are from the US but use foreign phrases or sentence structures common in other languages.
• They use blurry or overly professional photos. Their photos look like they came from a modeling agency. Alternatively, the photos may look slightly blurry or distorted, which suggests they are stolen or AI-generated. AI scams are rampant in dating.
• They push for intimate content. They pressure you to send compromising photos or videos early in the relationship. They will later threaten to release these images to your family or employer (a crime known as sextortion) if you refuse to meet their financial demands.
• They offer “insider” investment tips. Some scammers claim to be successful cryptocurrency traders. Instead of asking for money directly, they offer to “teach you” how to invest. They will direct you to use a fake website or app that looks legitimate, but once you deposit your funds, you can never get them back.
• They request money. A request for money is the ultimate red flag. No matter the reason — a medical emergency, problems with travel documents, or a customs tax to get a package delivered — someone you have never met should never ask you for money.

Common romance scammer phrases

Scammers often use specific phrases to manipulate victims. Be wary if you hear any of these lines:

• “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
• “I'm in a bad situation right now, and I didn't know who else to turn to.”
• “If you love me, you’ll help me.”
• “Could you help me out just this once? I promise I'll pay you back as soon as I can.”
• “My bank account is frozen.”
• “You’re the only one who understands me.”
• “I am currently overseas for military service.”
• “I want to send you a package, but you need to pay the customs fee.”
• “I hate this dating app. Let's switch to WhatsApp.”
• “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
• “My camera is broken, so I can't video chat right now.”
• “I have a great crypto investment tip for us.”
• “You’re the only one I trust. Everyone else will just try to break us apart.”
• “Once this job is done, we’ll finally be together.”
• “My child is sick, and I can't afford the hospital bill.”
• “I lost my passport and need money for a new one to come see you.”

Examples and types of romance scams

While all romance scams rely on emotional manipulation, scammers use different backstories to hook people. Rehearsed narratives explain why the scammers can’t meet you in person — and exactly why they need your financial assistance. Most types will display at least some of the warning signs listed above.

Catfish romance scams

In catfish romance scams, a scammer creates a completely fake online persona. They steal photos from real people — often lesser-known influencers or individuals from other countries — to build a profile that looks attractive and trustworthy.

The scammer might pretend to be a model, a doctor, or a business owner. By mirroring your interests and desires, they fulfill a fantasy to lower your guard. Their ultimate goal is to leverage that emotional dependency to ask for money or gifts.

Military romance scams

In military romance scams, the fraudster poses as a soldier deployed overseas. They use stolen photos of real military personnel to look legitimate.

They often claim they can’t video chat due to security restrictions. Eventually, they ask for money to process a leave request, pay for an emergency surgery, or buy a flight home — things the real military would provide for them.

Oil rig romance scams

In oil rig romance scams, the criminal claims to work on an offshore drilling platform. Their remote location gives them a perfect excuse for isolation, a bad internet connection, and why they can never meet you in person.

They often send stolen photos of life on a rig to prove their story. Eventually, they claim their bank accounts are frozen while at sea and ask you to send money to fix broken machinery or pay for a helicopter flight home.

Crypto and pig butchering romance scams

In crypto romance scams, often called pig butchering scams, the fraudster plays a long game. They spend weeks or months gaining your trust before ever mentioning money. Then, they casually mention they made a fortune trading cryptocurrency and offer to teach you.

The scammer directs you to a fake website that looks like a legitimate investment platform. They “fatten you up” by letting you see fake profits on the screen, encouraging you to invest larger and larger amounts. Once you spend all your savings, the scammer vanishes — and takes your money with them.

Celebrity romance scams

In celebrity romance scams, the imposter poses as a famous actor, musician, or influencer — often using names like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, or Keanu Reeves.

They claim to use a secret account to find real love away from the public eye. Eventually, they ask the fan to pay “management fees” to bypass their agents, cover the cost of a private jet to come see you, or help them settle a sudden legal trouble.

Elderly romance scams

Elderly romance scams specifically target seniors who are widowed or divorced. Criminals exploit their loneliness and go after those with significant retirement savings or home equity.

The data confirms this targeting strategy works: Older adults (60 and up) are 39% more likely to report a financial loss from a romance scam than younger adults [2].

The financial impact is severe. Seniors often lose significantly more money per scam than younger victims. In 2024 alone, senior citizens lost $329 million to romance fraud — a 19% jump in financial losses in just one year [2].

Inheritance romance scams

In inheritance romance scams, the fraudster claims to be a wealthy heir or heiress. They say their inheritance is tied up in a legal battle or that they need to get married to access a massive trust fund.

They often send fake legal documents or bank statements to prove the money exists, then ask the person to pay legal fees with the promise that they will share the millions later.

How to avoid romance scams

You can protect yourself from romance scammers by staying vigilant and verifying who you are talking to. Follow these tips to stay safe:

• Do not send money to anyone you haven’t yet met. Treat this tip as a hard rule. Never send cash, crypto, or gift cards to an online love interest.
• Do a reverse image search. Save the person’s profile photo and upload it to Google Images or TinEye. If the photo appears under a different name or on a stock photo site, you’re talking to an impostor.
• Listen to your gut feeling. If the romantic relationship moves too fast or the stories seem dramatic, trust your instincts. If it seems too good to be true, it is.
• Protect your privacy. Never share your Social Security number, bank details, or home address with someone you just met online.
• Keep your secrets safe. Do not send intimate photos or videos. Scammers use these for blackmail if you refuse to pay them later.

What to do if you’ve fallen for a romance scam

If you suspect you are a victim, don’t feel ashamed. Professional criminals manipulate people for a living. Instead, focus on acting fast to stop the damage.

1. Stop all contact. Block the scammer immediately on all forms of communication: messaging apps, phone, text, and social media. Don’t respond to their threats.
2. Report the scammer to the platform. File a report with the online dating app or social media website where the scammer first contacted you. Your report helps them remove the fake profile and protect others.
3. File a complaint with the IC3. File a report with the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov.
4. Report to the FTC. Report the fraud to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
5. Contact your bank. Notify your financial institutions that you may have been scammed. Ask them to stop any pending transactions.
6. Secure your accounts. If you gave your login credentials to a scammer or shared other sensitive data that may compromise your security, update your email, banking, and social media accounts. Create strong, unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication to prevent the scammer from exploiting you further.
7. Get online fraud insurance. You can get reimbursed up to $10K for losses from online scams like romance fraud. This online fraud coverage, which is part of NordProtect’s identity theft protection service, allows you to submit a claim in just a few steps and get the help you need.

References

[1] Federal Trade Commission, “Consumer Sentinel Network Data Book,” FTC, 2025. [Online]. Available: https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/federal.trade.commission/viz/shared/4WS8HTYQ6 

[2] Federal Trade Commission, "Protecting older consumers 2024-2025: A report of the Federal Trade Commission," FTC, 2025. [Online]. Available: https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/P144400-OlderAdultsReportDec2025.pdf